December was a crazy, fun month for Lauren at school. Two major events included Snow Day and her Christmas Concert! The Christmas Concert was your typical school music concert, but the kids have fun performing. It was fun to see them sing the songs Lauren has been singing at home ALL semester! She looked cute all dressed up with her friends {She was more than willing to pose in front of the tree!}
Then there was Snow Day....oh Snow Day. It is quite a production and let's just say I was MORE than happy {Read: joyful, elated, ecstatic} to have the stress over! As PTO board member, I was roped into being co-chair of the whole event. Luckily my partner in crime was AMAZING and kept the whole event going.
The major part of the event is the tons of snow that gets made into a sledding hill on the playground! A company from California brings in an ice shaver and creates a snow hill right there in the middle of our 80 degree Arizona playground! There was a lot of planning and stress involved in the whole event, but I have to say, I am pretty sure we had a lot of help from Heavenly Father that day. He wanted those kids to have fun, to experience joy!
Every kink that came up was fixed almost instantaneously! Thanks to a hay shortage, we couldn't find hay for the snow hill--a friend said he had some we could have because it had been in the one field that had been rained on after a freak rain storm and he now had no use for it. Our Santa cancelled last minute-- the next day, a man who works as a professional Santa walked in the office and willingly volunteered to be our Santa. The stickers we needed for a fundraiser went missing--after several prayers, they were found in the most obscure location, that no one remembered putting there. Based on past experiences, we feared we would not have enough parent volunteers--we had more parents than places to put them! It started raining the night before our event {rain=melted snow}-- Snow Day was clear skies and beautiful weather. The principal promised to dress up like Frosty if the kids raised all the money to pay for the snow. After ordering the costume, he got a back-order response the week of, when we thought it had already shipped--he called the local party store and sure enough they had an even better Frosty costume!
That whole day, I felt an overwhelming confirmation of how much our Heavenly Father loves those kids. The kids LOVE snow day! Some of them have never seen snow and may never see
it again. Nothing beats seeing the smiles and complete JOY on their
faces as they go flying down the hill or see Santa Claus or do science experiments with snow or play elf games! I literally cried on several occasions. Maybe it was pure exhaustion, but most likely it was the Spirit confirming to me that Heavenly Father loves ALL of His children. He loves them so much that He wanted these kids to have one absolutely fabulous snow day. And for us adults, He loves us enough to answer all our prayers and pleas for help, regardless of what they are for {finding stickers, hay or a Santa Claus}. It wasn't about us or whether or not the details were perfect. It was about the kids. Our lives and experiences are important to Him. He loves us and He wants us to be happy and seek joy! {I never thought I would get all that from a lot of stress and a pile of snow!}
For Family Home Evening, one week before Thanksgiving, we compiled a Family Gratitude List. It was good for us to think about specific things we are grateful for and to hear what the girls came up with. We truly have so many blessings to be grateful for!
I dropped Lauren off at school today and as she walked away, she turned and blew me a kiss. I don't think she knew it, but that was one powerful kiss. At that moment looking at her, I knew that my Heavenly Father loves me. That I am blessed with 3 beautiful, loving, funny, sweet, stress-inducing, sleep-depriving, happy little girls and that I am one lucky momma. That I need to stop racing and enjoy the moment {Read Here}. That I need to work {or should I say worry} less and play more. That nothing can possibly mean more than my job as their mom and if it does, I need to get rid of it. Yes, I got all that from one blown kiss. It was just what I needed today.
The other day I was reading the talk "The Privilege of Prayer" by Elder J. Devn Cornish. Elder Cornish begins the talk with a story of the Lord answering his prayer by helping him find a quarter so he could buy a piece of chicken. {It's a great story--read it if you haven't already} I didn't know at the time, how much that chicken story would mean to me.
This last 3 months has been the most physically and emotionally challenging for me. I have spent quite a bit of time utilizing that privilege of prayer! Prayers that sometimes seemed were not quit making it through with answers that just weren't coming. Was it me? Was my faith insufficient? I felt like I was doing my part, so why was I still struggling?
On one of my worst days, I was trying to get out of the house with the girls. I didn't want to go, I felt physically beaten and emotionally drained and Kylee decided it was an appropriate time to be stubborn. We had lost one of her brown shoes a few days before and I had already searched the whole house over for it, with no luck. It was at this time that Kylee decided she would ONLY wear her brown shoes. On the verge of tears and too tired to fight, I said a silent prayer and begged for help in finding the missing shoe. Immediately I heard, in that still small voice, look behind the cushion. Sure enough, behind the cushion on the couch, directly in front of me, sat the shoe. My simple prayer was answered.
"One might well ask why He would concern Himself with something so small. I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because He loves us. How much more would He want to help us with the big things that we ask, which are right (see 3 Nephi 18:20)?" ( Elder J. Devn Cornish)
Finding that shoe was not a life altering necessity, just like Elder Cornish didn't NEED that chicken. However, finding that shoe mattered to me and because it mattered to me, it mattered to Heavenly Father. It was also at that point that it was confirmed to me all those prayers pleading for "help with the big thing" were being heard. "Sometimes we seem to get no answer to our sincere and striving prayers. It takes faith to remember that the Lord answers in His time and in His way so as to best bless us. "
Those prayers I so much desire to have answered are not being ignored. They have been heard, but they will be answered in His time and in His way. My job is to acknowledge my dependence on the Lord and accept His will, even if it is not the same as my will. “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done” (Matthew 6:10; Luke 11:2). A truth I've known but obviously needed reminding of.
Is this trial over? No and it might not be for a while and I KNOW this won't be the last or perhaps even the worst of my trials, but answers and relief will come. I will continue to pray and give thanks for the good days and I will continue to feel the love and peace from a Heavenly Father who is real, who knows and loves me and wants to bless me.
President Thomas S. Monson, said: “To those within the sound of my voice who are struggling with challenges and difficulties large and small, prayer is the provider of spiritual strength; it is the passport to peace. Prayer is the means by which we approach our Father in Heaven, who loves us. Speak to Him in prayer and then listen for the answer. Miracles are wrought through prayer” (“Be Your Best Self,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2009, 68).
Bailey was blessed Sunday, November 20th. 5 of Dean's 7 siblings were in town for his sister's bridal shower, and instead of having everyone make another trip down, miss it or postpone it until Christmas, we decided to just do it then. With all of the Farars, Chadwicks and other local family there, we managed to make our already large ward HUGE! It was really nice to have all the family and friends there to support our little family and our new sweet baby girl.
Just before it was time to bless her {ie Ward Business had already started}, Bailey decided it would be appropriate to poop. I was tempted to just send her up poopy, until I checked her. There was poop exiting her diaper! She had already gotten it on her booties and her onesie. I panicked. I grabbed a diaper and wipes and booked it for the hallway. There was no time to make it to the mother's lounge, so I did the world's fastest poopy diaper change right there on the foyer couch {don't worry I put a blanket down!}. Luckily ward business took longer than normal and I made it back just in time to hand her over to Dean for the blessing.
Then, to make things even more exciting, Bailey screamed through the whole blessing! Everyone in the circle did their best to help her stop crying, but she was not happy! By the time Dean sat down again, he was sweating bullets. He said he had a hard time concentrating, with the emergency diaper change and the screaming! Nonetheless, it was a beautiful blessing and definitely a memorable moment!
Within the last two weeks we have had both of our cars in the shop.
It was totally frustrating and not exactly what I wanted/felt we needed to spend money on right now. {Thankfully we were blessed enough to even have the money to pay for it.} One night however, I was murmuring to Dean {I have since repented} about why the cars had to break down in the first place? Yes, we were provided the extra money to pay for it, but why did we have to have this trial/inconvenience to begin with? We have been doing our best and trying harder to live the gospel, pay our tithing, etc. I was stressed, tired, and frustrated. Couldn't the Lord just have seen it as a wash and made the cars function properly forever, instead of us dealing with this trial??? {See, I told you I was murmuring!}
I soon received my answer.
As I was preparing the lesson I had to give in Young Women last Sunday, I read this... "Challenges will always be part of our lives, even when we live the gospel. But the gospel does give direction to help us solve our problems, and the comfort and peace we receive from living close to the Lord can help us face these problems without panic or fear."
"Our challenges are of varying degrees of difficulty. Some of them are simple and relatively insignificant. But if they are not handled correctly, they can cause misunderstanding, frustration, and anger. There are also larger, more serious problems that can continue for a long time, causing daily worry."
{I am pretty sure I wasn't handling my "simple and relatively insignificant" challenge correctly.}
The lesson points out that love, prayer, service, obedience, study, and work are things we can do to feel closer to the Lord each day. These same principles can be used to help meet whatever challenges we may face. Without challenges we would most likely not appreciate the blessings we have now and fail to recognize the Lord's hand in all things. {I have since learned the error of my ways.}
I was then reminded of a talk given by Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Come What May, and Love It." He spoke of how his mother used to tell him, in regards to trials and sorrow, " Come what may, and love it." He said: "How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life. If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness."
Elder Wirthlin also offered 4 ways of coping with trials and challenges 1. Learn to Laugh: "The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable." 2. Seek for the Eternal: "Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others." 3. Understand the Principle of Compensation: "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." 4. Trust in the Father and the Son: "“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”2 The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in. 'The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.' "
So does that mean I am happy or excited about what trials and challenges lie ahead? Absolutely not, but I have a better understanding of why we have, even "simple and relatively insignificant" challenges and a better way to deal, solve and learn from them! As well as a goal, and perhaps my New Years Resolution to "come what may, and love it!"
Lesson: Young Women Manual 3, Lesson 3: Living the Gospel Daily Talk: Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Come What May, and Love It", Ensign, Nov. 2008, 26–28
Last week, I spent 3 days in Phoenix with my parents, as my dad had a heart procedure done. {I left the kids home with Dean} In that short amount of time, I learned a few things. Perhaps they aren't so much new things learned, but rather new things remembered.
1. I Was Meant To Be A Mom! I really missed my babies! I almost started crying as we were driving away and I had not even been away from them for 5 minutes! I felt guilty and unfortunately I didn't feel any better when I talked to Dean the next morning. He informed me Lauren cried/screamed for me for about 2 hours straight, before finally falling asleep! Only to have Kylee wake up and cry the rest of the night due to teething. I was so happy to see my babies faces through the window as we pulled up the driveway when we got home. I understand there will be times when I will go away for a day or two, times when I will need to go away but I know I will always miss my babies and I will always be happy to return home!
2. The Lord Knows What He Is Doing. Not that I didn't already know that, but it was definitely confirmed to me. Last month, my Dad had a TIA {a mini stroke}. I remember the doctors saying it was a warning that something was wrong in his body and it needed to be fixed. During this time, they determined that the hole {a PFO} in my dad's heart needed to be patched. The procedure would take approximately an hour, barring no complications. However, 2 hours later, the doctor found us in the waiting room bringing good news and bad news. He informed us that when checking my dad's arteries, they found that his "Widow Maker" {or left main coronary artery of the heart} was 90% blocked! If this artery gets completely blocked, the doctor informed us, the next step "is heaven," hence the nickname. The doctors decided that unclogging the artery and inserting a stint took priority over the hole patch, leaving it to be done at a later time. We were amazed! Oh how I saw the Lord's hand in it all! Had he never hat the TIA, they would have never found the hole, they would have never decided to patch it, they would have never found the clogged artery and he would have most likely died of a massive heart attack. Things could have been so much worse. Instead, Heavenly Father was watching over him; gave him a warning. A second chance.
"Our Father in Heaven has given us, His children, much more than any mortal mind can comprehend. God the Father watches over us, fills our hearts with breathtaking joy, brightens our darkest hours with blessed peace, distills upon our minds precious truths, shepherds us through times of distress, rejoices when we rejoice, and answers our righteous petitions. God does not look on the outward appearance. I believe that He doesn’t care one bit if we live in a castle or a cottage, if we are handsome or homely, if we are famous or forgotten. Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely. He loves us because He is filled with an infinite measure of holy, pure, and indescribable love. We are important to God not because of our résumé but because we are His children. He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken. God’s love is so great that He loves even the proud, the selfish, the arrogant, and the wicked. What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us." ---Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Love of God,” Ensign, Nov 2009, 21–24
3. We Are Not Normal & Laughter Is The Best Medicine. There is a standing rule in my family that nothing will ever happen the "normal" or "as planned" way. It seems like any time we plan or organize something, we manage to only be able to accomplish it the "hard way." We just expect everything to have some sort of snag and laugh when it does happen.
Case in point: My mom got a phone call from the car rental place one hour from our scheduled departure time informing her that they did not have a car ready for her. She quickly called around and was able to find a car from another company. Not a big deal, but why can't things just happen as planned?? We're cursed!
Example #2: Later at the hotel, we were somehow checked-in improperly. On day 2 as we went to our room, we found that our keys no longer worked! When my mom went to the front desk to find out why, it became clear that the lady had checked us in wrong, put us in the wrong room and thought we had already checked out! After the lady refused to take responsibility for the mistake and claimed she "confused us with someone else" my mom got new keys and shared the elevator up with a young couple. As my mom mentioned the problem to the couple, they informed her that earlier that day the same lady had given them keys to our room to see if they wanted to stay there! The guy said as soon as he saw all our stuff they walked out and returned the key to the front desk! When my mom called to ask the lady why this had happened and confirm no one else would be getting keys to our room, her only response was: "They were just playing a practical joke on you. I have never heard of that happening in this hotel"!! We were baffled! How stupid did she think we were? Why would someone make that up? Even after the stress from the day, we were eventually laughing so hard about it! We were all crying and my mom was spewing her water all over the floor! Again: It could have been worse, but why can't things just be normal! At least we know how to laugh about it all and move on!
4. It's All Worth It. We don't know what the future holds. What blessings the Lord will give us or what challenges we will have to endure.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." {Isaiah 55-8-9}
"And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." {D&C 122:7}
In the end, it is all worth it. It may not make sense now, it may be hard now, but someday we will understand and we will be grateful.
"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you." B.B. King
Lauren is currently fascinated with the letters of the alphabet. For Christmas Lauren got the Leap Frog: Letter Factory Combo Pack of DVD's. It is amazing how much she has learned just from watching those videos. The DVD's came with flashcards, so we will go through each letter of the alphabet and talk about what words start with that letter, etc. She loves it! She learned how to spell her name at pre-school and will tell you with pride! She is also eager to learn how to write her letters, especially her name.
I just marvel at how excited she is to learn and how happy she is when she gets something right and when remembers it the next time! Her love for learning has helped me to remember that learning is a life long adventure; a blessing and opportunity I need to take advantage of daily!
Does anyone else find this disturbing? I saw it driving past a particular movie rental store {who will remain nameless}. I didn't think that was right. Giving away kids.
But it got me thinking: What exactly do they mean by Free? Is it a rent to own program? Do they have a No Return policy? Is there a restocking fee if I want to exchange my free kid for a different one? Can you exchange children you currently have for store credit? Do they offer a lifetime warranty?
If only getting kids were that easy. No expense. No 9 month pregnancy or hours of painful labor. Just walk in the store and pick one out. Simply return them when they aren't functioning properly or if you decide it is not exactly what you expected.
Luckily that isn't the case. “No matter what you read or hear, no matter what the differences of circumstances you observe in the lives of women about you, it is important for you Latter-day Saint women to understand that the Lord holds motherhood and mothers sacred and in the highest esteem. He has entrusted to his daughters the great responsibility of bearing and nurturing children. This is the great, irreplaceable work of women. Life cannot go on if women cease to bear children. Mortal life is a privilege and a necessary step in eternal progression. Mother Eve understood that. You must also understand it. Much is said about the drudgery and the confinement of the woman’s role in the home. In the perspective of the gospel it is not so. There is divinity in each new life.There ischallenge in creating the environment in which a child can grow and develop. There is partnership between the man and woman in building a family which can last throughout the eternities” (President Spencer W. Kimball:“Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters,” Ensign, Nov. 1978).
Even on the bad days, I'm grateful they aren't free.
My dad had a stroke. It was the good kind though {if there is such a thing}. He had a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA), a stroke that reversed itself.
As soon as I heard, I rushed to meet him at the ER. At first I didn't know what to think. He didn't look so great, but he was alive and breathing. Then they started evaluating him. They were asking him questions, checking his coherency, but we could hardly understand him. His words came out mumbled and it was hard for him to speak. They told him to move his arms and legs, but he couldn't move his right side. I looked at my mom. She whispered "He's had a stroke."
I felt so hopeless. Watching him in pain {from cramping in his legs}, unable to speak clearly enough for us to understand. Unable to move half his body. I felt bad for my brother and my sister because they weren't there. I wanted to cry, but was trying to keep it together for my mom. It was so hard seeing him like that. So helpless.
Amidst phone calls to family, cat-scans, teleconferences with the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix and prayers, we arranged for Dean and my parent's home teacher to come give him a blessing. They came. A blessing was given.
The doctors confirmed that he had had a stroke. He had a blood clot in the left side of his brain; resulting in the paralysis of his right side and his inability to speak clearly. Then an amazing thing happened. After some time, he was able to move his right arm a little. Then he was speaking more clearly. Next he moved his leg. Within a few hours, he was sitting up on the side of the bed, wanting to go home.
The blood clot had kept moving through his brain and dissolved on it's own. His body went back to normal, leaving no permanent damage. A miracle in our eyes! The doctor said this "mini-stroke" was a warning. His body telling him something was wrong, and if he didn't fix it, he is going to have a real stroke; one with permanent damage.
I was thinking about the whole series of events. It was an awful, scary experience, but it could have been worse. He could have been at home alone, and not received treatment for hours. Instead the paramedics were there within minutes. He could have been at the bottom of the water tank he was working on. Instead he was on solid ground, with people around to help. He could have had to spend weeks in the hospital and months in rehab and possibly never fully recover. Instead he will be back to work as soon as next week. We could be planning a funeral, instead we are planning how we can all live healthier. We could be upset or frustrated this happened. Instead we acknowledge Heavenly Father's merciful hand in it all and give thanks as we count our blessings.
I have a picture of my dad, he's in the ER and he is laughing {Of course it was after his body had "recovered"}. We were laughing about how he couldn't remember the presidents name when the nurse asked him. Or about how we figured they were going to have to life-flight him wearing only his underwear again. Or about how he was receiving flowers from people before he had even left the ER. Or about how mom thought she was going to have a drooling husband for the rest of his life and how my aunt volunteered to make bibs. We laughed about how this was a lame way for him to get out of work. We laughed a lot. The good belly laughs. We laughed so hard we cried. I guess it is just our twisted way of coping with stress. But as crazy as it sounds, it was wonderful to see him laugh. He has a great laugh!
Dean spent the last 12 days in Northern California for Cisco Systems Certification Training (CCNA & CCNA Security). He arrived Sunday and then had ALL day classes Monday through Friday. The training is super intensive and the test is REALLY hard. The first thing his instructor told him, was "plan on failing the test!" Luckily he followed that statement up with "unless you pay attention to what I am teaching you!" Dean took the test about 7 years ago and did not pass, so we were very nervous/anxious about him taking it again (well, at least I was!) Friday rolled around, he took the test, and PASSED (with flying colors!)! He was so happy!
Saturday I flew in to spend the weekend with him and Monday morning he was back in training for the Security portion. He had 12 hour training days Monday through Wednesday and by Thursday he was ready to be done! He took his last test and PASSED again (with flying colors!)!
The whole situation is a huge blessing that we never expected. Dean has wanted to take these training courses and get certified for years, but with their HUGE price tag, it was never in our budget. Then came the miracle. The school district was presented with money that had to be spent on training of employees! Dean put in to go, with little hope of being approved (especially since over the last 9 years they have paid for NO training), but sure enough, they accepted it and he was on his way! We know that the Lord provided him with the opportunity of going and the blessing of passing the tests! This certification will help him a lot career wise and we are so grateful! The whole experience was proof to us that Heavenly Father knows what we need and is willing to bless us, even when we least expect it!
